~ Living with POEMS ~

Dedicated to the memory of Mike Oliver

Support the Patient

All of us need support from our family and friends. However, when a person is ill, that support system becomes crucial to his or her overall mental and physical health. This becomes especially true when a person is ill and the cause is unknown.

As you can see from reading through the background page, our family spent many agonizing months trying to find out what was wrong with Mike. There were times that we wondered if he was just depressed or unwilling to get up. There were days when we just wanted him to get out of the bed and force himself to get better. Instead, he just got worse and more withdrawn. It was difficult for him to try and explain to us that he knew something was wrong that the doctors had been unable to identify.

The important thing to remember is to be as patient as possible. Find humor, laugh as often as possible, enjoy and be thankful for the good days, and lean on God, family, and friends on the bad days.

When you begin going down the chemo and steroid road, be aware that the patient will “see” things that aren’t really there. If you are alarmed at first, discuss it with the doctor to determine if changes in the meds are necessary. Once the meds are ok, just talk the patient through it. If possible, find the humor in the situation. DO NOT grow impatient or angry with the patient-remember it is the meds that are causing the temporary hallucinations.

Finally, DON’T FORGET TO SUPPORT THE MAIN CAREGIVER(S) of the patient. They have needs, feelings, and overwhelming emotions. It is important that they get time away and understand that there should be NO GUILT associated with it. This time away is a great opportunity to relieve stress and re-charge.

On that note, our family would like to take the opportunity to thank all of the family and friends who have supported us. This is particularly true for the following people:

Extended Family - Michelle and Krystle would like to thank our moms, uncles, aunt, extended family members, and friends for all of the support we received over the years. That support came in all forms: prayer, encouragement, food, babysitting, house cleaning, etc.

Mayo Family – Our family would like to thank co-workers for their understanding and support. In addition, we want to recognize all of the doctors-both known and unknown to us. We would particularly like to recognize Dr. Fitzpatrick (nephrology), Dr. Moreno (oncology), and Dr. Baweja (oncology). We would also like to recognize Nurse Susie and Lab Tech Steve.

Michelle’s work – Our family would especially like to thank her boss, Sue, teammates, and co-workers. Their support ensured that Mike received the necessary care that he needed. We are grateful for the patience and support that they have shown.

JSO Family – Mike is retired from the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office. We have had a tremendous outpouring of concern and support displayed from them.

Joy – Michelle’s long time friend and co-creator of this web site.